Something-Something Birthday

When I was a kid, my Mom told me no one was around in the summer, so, I couldn't have a birthday party. Honestly, I had no idea where people went - they went to the beach, or, as we say around here, down the shore - or Europe or whatever. We didn't do that or have another house somewhere.

As a child, I always had family birthday and I love my family and it was always fun and everyone around me had fun. I just never had a party with friends or did anything, really.

By 16, I was pretty much over birthdays because I hate being the center of attention for no constructive reason.

When I turned 18, my Aunt told me that I was an adult and there would be no more presents or parties. I also hate parties ESPECIALLY parties about me or for me. I think I actually threw up in my mouth a little thinking about it.

I never understood the "birthday month" or "birthday week" or whatever. It was just a day and I was an adult. So, in general, I never thought birthdays were a big deal, ya know. Now it's really awkward because - and I assume because I am female..

People: Awww, hey! Birthday girl! You turning 21
Maddie:...Uhh...
People:...*WINK WINK*
Maddie: Nope. I'm like over 30.
People: Birthday week or birthday month? What are you doing? Fancy dinner out? Casinos? Trip somewhere?
Maddie: Well, it's a Tuesday, so, I'll be here at work...and I have to take my cat to get his anal glands squeezed.
People:...
Maddie:...
People:...
Maddie:...Well met, friend! Back to work. Tralala!

I mean, what am I going to do?

My whole birthday experience can be summed up in a four year process from high school. Every year I would wish this guy in high school happy birthday on his birthday. Now, in high school, when you wished someone the opposite sex something it normally meant you liked them...in that way.

But we had a SPECIAL connection.

And every year we had this conversation:

Maddie: Happy birthday!
Dude: Oh, thanks. Yeah.
Maddie:...
Dude: ...Uh, you know, it's weird you always remember my birthday and I never remember yours.
Maddie: ...Really?
Dude: ...*ahem*...yeah
Maddie: ...
Dude: ...
Maddie: ...*narrows eyes*
Dude: ...
Maddie: ...
Dude: ...
Maddie: ...
Dude: ...
Maddie: ...
Dude: ...
Maddie: IT'S THE SAME DAY!