Pizza Police

So...I've see this a lot. And it reminds me of the "Stanford marshmallow experiment" where if children didn't eat a treat (marshmallow) immediately, they would get another later. 

It was used as a method to determine success in adulthood - if the children had enough "impulse control" and "discipline" to resist the treat knowing there is a greater reward they were smart and would be successful.

It was an intelligence test. Dumb kids ate, smart kids waited.

Since the experiment, in the 1970s, the inherent bias has come to light.

The children dealing with food insecurity ate the marshmallow right away because they couldn't be sure they would have another chance to eat, even when told they would.

The children without that experience and who had access to treats were able to wait.

So - what's this post saying?

Should be taken at face value, shaming those who take 3 slices while the righteous take 1 to prove their sacrfice is for the greater good and the greedy take more.

Or is it that the people who take 1 slice do so because they have access to resources and want others can take what they need.

Or are the people taking 1 slice the ones who need more but don't want to be shamed for taking anything, even if they needed it.

Or is it stating we have been led to believe we can't get more pizza if we run out because have been conditioned to judge those accessing resources as greedy, shameful and bad.

I'd say: I'm not the pizza police. Take what you need without shame at my pizza party. And take some home to those who couldn't attend or because you need or want them.

Let's stop assuming someone who takes more needs less and those who take less dont need more.

Depress and Re-Press

Statement

Somehow we've managed think it's okay to focus on dystopian futures, but not utopian futures. In school we're read Aldous Huxley's "Brave New World" but not "The Island". We read dystopian and depressing stories like "1984", "Farenheit 451", "Lord of the Flies", "The Great Gatsby", "Harrison Bergeron", "Slaughterhouse Five", "Night", "Animal Farm", "Hamlet", etc. 

I honestly don't remember reading one uplifting book when I was in school. No wonder I read slowly, I likely linked reading to feeling lethargic, helpless and depressed. 

While there are great lessons in the aforementioned stories, may we explore the possibility that we can also learn lessons from uplifting books that imagine a healthy future that we can feel more inspired to create? 

 The only major cultural influence of a healthy future that I recall is Star Trek. More recently "The Celestine Prophesy" taught ways of being that promote harmony and healing. 

Reply

Simply put, difficult topics are essential for teaching and practicing empathy. These "depressing" texts create socially-consciences adults. 

Ideally, up to this point, children have been reading books that build technical and critical thinking skills with less danger – like “Johnny Termain” or “Little Women” or “The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde” or “Anne of Green Gables.” Even "The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey."

Also, let’s not pit books against each other - the human condition is complex and often many aspects of humanity exists in each story. What each person takes away from a book is different. Conflict and consequence exist even in the happiest of stories, it is what makes them compelling.

As teenagers, students finally recognize themselves in the texts and characters - and through that opening, can see struggling communities and worlds beyond their experiences and in safe spaces. They can discover circumstances surrounding issues and parallel elements within their own lives and systems allowing them to be more socially minded outside their spheres. We grow through discomfort - when readers are uncomfortable, they open themselves blind spots in their own thinking and then have the ability to confront and dismantle normalized harmful ideologies.

Get Lit

The general focus in many corporations is on emotional intelligence. There are meetings, books and so many talks around EQ...

Emotional intelligence is defined as a person's capacity to deal with their #emotions in any given situation in order to further interpersonal relationships.

One of the missing pieces of this initiative is emotional literacy.

Emotional literacy is the ability to identify, understand and communicate your emotions to others while also identifying and understanding someone else’s emotions about themselves and about you. Emotional literacy is a social process requiring the accepting of other people who probably have diverse backgrounds, education, resources and come from other cultures. 

Change Is Fine

People are not actually afraid of change as much as it's broadcasted.

People are afraid of uncertainty, giving up comforts and having to embrace what they perceive as detrimental to their livelihood or processes.

For example: anyone who had to suddenly endure $1,000 more in each paycheck probably will cope and adapt to that change just fine. Anyone suddenly having to endure the loss of $1,000 in each paycheck will probably exhibit a different response.

It is critical to understand and address what your audience is actually concerned about over stating, "we understand people are afraid of change."

Stop the Abuse: Better Betta Care

A lot of people have been getting bettas. Wee! Bettas are awesome fish who can recognize you and even preform little tricks. They have some common needs that will keep them healthy and happy!

Their life expectancy is 5-7 years, too.

We Are Taught To Abused Bettas
Bettas are extremely tolerant fish – they can live in a variety of horrible conditions and continue to live. They are called a good "beginner fish" because you can make a lot of mistakes with them without killing them. 

Which is kind of a sad bar to set.

This means they are also one of the most abused animals in stores and homes. It's not because we want them to be unhappy but because we are conditioned to think we know what they need – small spaces, plants to eat, no filtration, neon rocks in a vase of tap water.

Betta fish do not make pet stores much money, so, they get crammed into tiny jars to take up less retail space and now we all think they are happy in a space where they can barely turn around. If you saw a dog or cat in a cage where they could not turn around, sitting in their own feces and urine, you'd probably feel some sort of way. 

But when it comes to fish, we are not taught to feel that way. 

I know this because my first betta I kept in abusive conditions because he was "just a fish" and needed some water and food. I thought I was doing everything right. When I realized what I was doing, I was horrified and that's why I often comment when they get bettas for their home, kids, friends and classrooms.

The truth - I was an abusive pet owner. And I had to do better.

I know how f**king awful I felt knowing what I did to my first betta. It's hard to look at yourself and realize you caused the suffering of a creature in your care. 

So, I did my research and I talked to actual fish experts and I watched videos so my next betta, Willoughby, would have the best life I could give him. 

This post will address the basics you need for your betta. Don't worry, it's not expensive and bettas are actually a lot of fun and even more dymamic and interesting when they are healthy and happy.

Also, you might want to give you betta a female name, but, you probably have a male. The beautiful long fins and colors are a trait of males. Female bettas are small with short fins and natural colors. Again, bettas don't make retail much money, so, only males are typically crammed into jars for sale because they are "pretty."

Betta Basic Needs

5 Gallon Tank

Even humans can live in solitary confinement cell of 6x6. But surviving in a closet isn't living. A betta needs a min 5 gallon tank to swim and play.

Imagine being locked in a closet with all your pee and poop and unable to exercise? When a betta has a nice sized tank, you will see him darting around and happily playing.

If you do not have the room for a manual 5 gallon tank – or don’t want to use up that amount of space – don’t get a betta. An animal should not have to suffer because you don’t feel like provide it what it needs.

Also, make sure you have a lid for your tank. Bettas can jump from their tank – they are quite good at it. If they are very unhappy, they might try to jump from the tank because they want to find a better home. If they are very frisky, they also might do it.

Water Conditioner
Tap water contains ammonia, chlorine, chloramines and heavy metals that need to be removed because they are toxic to bettas. Sure, they can live in it but it will slowly destroy them inside and out and greatly reduce their life expectancy. 

A good conditioner also come with beneficial slime that keep your betta's scales and fins protected and healthy. 

I used the Top Fin brand water conditioner. It's super easy to use. Costs about $7 bucks and you only need a capful or two depending on the size of your tank. For under $10, your betta will not be living in toxic water. 

Also, never used distilled water for your betta. 

I had a large tank, so, I also checked the water levels to make sure everything was balanced because I had other fish in with my betta. I used the API Freshwater Aquarium Master Test Kit and then could adjust elements to ensure the water was balanced. 

Yes, bettas can live with other fish. That's not a basic thing, though.

Heater
Bettas are tropical fish. They need their water to be at 76°F-81°F. Some say they should always be minimal 80°F. 

For some perspective, room temperature water is about 68 degrees – colder during some seasons - which means your betta will be very cold without a heater. 

Very. Cold. 

Imagine living in a world where you are always cold and continually prone to illness. Cold bettas suffer from something called temperature shock. Symptoms are lethargy, laying at the bottom of the tank all the time and slipping into a coma. They are not built to handle cold temperatures.  

No one wants to see an animal in a coma because it's too cold.

I got a submersible wand type heater and a thermometer to make sure my water was always warm enough for my betta. It was about $12 and it meant my betta wasn't feeling like he was freezing to death everyday of his life. 

Food and Treats
Bettas are carnivores. They do NOT want to eat plants. 

If you have a vase with a plant where the roots are supposed to be the food and the betta is eating them – it's because he's starving. Also, don't do that plant-vase thing.

Imagine being locked in a room with no food but roaches. You will eventually eat those roaches. That doesn't mean it's a yummy part of your balanced diet. 

Make sure you get good pellets (feed per instructions) and offer treats of larva and bloodworms to keep your betta happy. You should remove all food your betta does not eat within about 3 minutes. I also followed advice to not feed my betta one day a week to give his system a break. 

My betta was a piggy, by the way.

If you really want to see a happy betta, get some live bloodworms or larva and watch your betta go into hunting mode! It's great stimulation for your betta and super yummy for him.

Filter
Make sure you have a gentle filter appropriate for your tank size – tanks under 3 gallons with a filter can cause damage to your betta - even though you shouldn't have a betta in a 3 gallon tank. 

A betta's gorgeous fins might get caught or the current might be too strong for him to sleep because of those long fins picking up that current.

Imagine trying to sleep while on a treadmill with a fan blowing in your face. Not really a good life. Again,  have a 5 gallon minimum aquarium and watch your betta when you install your filter to make sure he's happy and not being tossed around. 

He should be able to lay down or make a bubble nest (more on that later). As a bonus though, bettas will also play in the current. My betta would swim to the output and swim hard or slip in an out of the current when he was feeling frisky.

Light
Do not keep a light on 24/7. I never actually used a light in my tank. My living room got both sun and dark...as the world works that way. 

Also, do not put the betta by the window - sunlight is not the best for bettas and it can also encourage the growth of algae and other harmful things in the tank. Non-direct sun is the best.

If you do use a tank light, make sure it is only on for 8 hours max so your betta can have some dark. Bright light can be stressful.

If you think your fish tank is a good night light for your child, it's not – just, get a real night light and let your betta sleep.

Imagine being in a cell and no one ever turned off the bright light. This is actually a torture technique, so, keep your betta on his natural light-dark schedule. 

Plants
Yes, you need plants!

You can get fake or live plants for your betta. Fake plants are easier to maintain and I preferred them in my tank. I really enjoyed the plant thing, too, by the way. I loved making a little environment for my betta with forests and grasslands and open space.

If you ever notice your betta laying on the bottom of the tank (if you have a working heater and he's not in a coma), it's because he's sleeping or being lazy. 

Bettas love having broad leaves to lay on as they are more comfortable then rocks. They also like to dart through "forests" or grasses for a tickle. They love hunting and hiding and plants provide that.

Imagine wanting to go to sleep and only having the floor to sleep on. It’s ok, I guess. But a nice bed where you can lounge is better. Get some plants.

Rocks and Things
Bettas like to feel safe – being in the open all the time can be stressful. Sure, I wanted to look at my betta all the time, but, he needs to feel safe. If you don't have a lot of hiding spaces for your betta, you might notice him cowering in the corner or showing signs of stress. 

Give your betta a place to hide when (someone inevitability) taps on the glass or things get loud. Even new people coming up to the tank can be stressful. When your betta has some place to hide and check things out, it greatly reduces that stress.

Bettas also like to explore and swim around and through things. Make sure you get some fake logs or rocks that give your betta something to swim around and through. If you are likely to get your cat a cat tower and your dog a chew toy – get some fun things for your betta to keep him mentally stimulated (more on play later!) 

Make sure you rub your hand over every object to check for sharp edges and clean it before putting it into the tank. If you notice your betta fins are getting torn (ouch!) it might be because he is getting caught on sharp edges of rocks or other décor. 

Changing You Tankscape
I think one of the best things about fish tanks is the beautiful environments you can create and re-create.

When you do clean your tank, make sure you change up your tankscape - maybe once a month. Bettas like to explore and they have pretty good memories. In the wild, they would be exploring large spaces and experiencing things like trees falling in the water and other upsets. Rearranging the environment or even new things to investigate and taking old things away will keep your betta happy! 

Why not change it seasonally with fun new things? Not only will your betta be happy but you will have a nice addition to your room.

Note on Neon
Please stop using neon tank setups for bettas. Your kids might love it, but the poor betta now has a very unnatural environment that is probably make his eyeballs bleed. 

Stick to natural colors with only some fun accents. Bettas do love color in moderation.

Play!
Bettas are intelligent. It's a myth that fish only remember things for 3 seconds. Bettas can remember things for month and will quickly be able to recognize faces....that feed him. They are very curious, as well.

Bettas also like to play and they are super easy to entertain. You can simply put a mirror up to the tank and watch your betta flare and flex as if he is going to fight. Just, don't do this for two long - you don't want to overdo it.

You can also introduce floating plants and decorations and watch your betta move them around. Some people put a ping pong ball in the tank to amuse your betta. Just make sure to remove it when playtime is over. 

 
You can even use a dry erase market on the outside of the tank to draw things – you’ll see your betta come over to investigate what is it. This is great mental stimulation and fun to watch. If you have a classroom betta, it's a super fun way to write a message and watch the betta get excited about it because it's colorful and new. 

You can also place new objects outside the tank. After all, the betta doesn't like to stare at the same walls all day. He is looking outside the tank and some fun objects around the tank are very interesting.

Medicine

Bettas can get sick and hurt and you should have some medicine on hand. As with all pet care, you need to know your betta well enough to know when he might be sick or hurt.

You should know the signs of:

• Fin rot
• Dropsy (aka pineconing)
• Velvet
• Swim badder disorders
• Ick
• Popeye
• Columnaris
• Cuts/ulcers

I always kept some Bettafix when I noticed my betta had a wound. It's a good medication to keep on hand for common troubles your betta will probably get into. A lot of common or parasite type issues can be solved with cleaning the tank, checking water quality and fasting. 

It's not hard to give medical attention to a betta.

Look, if you betta is sick, you need to take care of him. A sick betta can be a sign of a tank imbalance or ineffective cleaning. Don't make your betta suffer because you are too busy or don't pay attention - if your dog or cat had an open wound or infection, you'd take care of them. Take care of your betta.

A call to an expert or some research can provide you with the right treatments to either cure your betta or make him more comfortable. 

Will ended up dying of dropsy - it's basically an incurable organ failure. I setup a hospital tank with calming treatments, salts and a comfortable space until he died.

A Happy Betta
So, how do you know if you are doing this betta thing right? 

You will see your betta being active – zooming around. He will rush through plants (for a tickle) and hide out in logs or swim through rock holes. The motions will be smooth. 

He will also lounge and be lazy in a favorite spot showing he likes his environment. He will come to see you, too, and want to check out visitors.

Your betta will have open fins (not flaring, that's different) and look relaxed. Fins tight to the body all the time is not a good sign. Bettas will stretch and display their fins - they will basically strut when happy and healthy.

Your betta will be eating, too – they do love to eat!

You might also see a bubble nest. A bubble nest means the male is ready to mate – it’s not 100% that your betta is happy as mating is an instinct over an emotional thing. But, having a betta making a nest indicates he is well fed and feels safe. If your betta does not make a nest, he can still be very happy but just not into mating.

Mighty Morph Don't Rhyme

A few-ish reasons:
1. The words are combination of different etymologies from different languages with different origins or ages

2. Because English is a natural language, not a constructed one like, say, Esperanto, which was constructed to be a international auxiliary language.

3. English has an alphabetic writing system. It has only 26 symbols to represent 44 sounds that, together, create millions of words. Unlike, let's say, Chinese which has an unlimited set of characters to display  meaning.

4. English is morphophonemic language so the way we write words is a code that represents both sound and meaning. Unlike, say, the Serbo-Croatian language where exact letter maps one-to-one with the sounds of the language.

Language is super fun! English is one of the languages with requires a some critical thinking but once you start to understand the roots, it can really open up a lot of fun discoveries.

The Sound of Scent

In "Scent," neither letter is silent.

Together, this combination of letters, create a softer sound than if one or the other was missing.

English is morphophonemic language - the letters represent a code for both sound and meaning - "scent," "sent" and "cent" are three separate words and actually are spoken (technically) in three different ways.