Monday, November 19, 2018

November 2018 Out of Office (OOO)


I like to make feisty Out of Office (OOO) messages for my company people. I mean, who wants to read: "Hello, I am currently out of the office I will return on _____."


BORING.

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Hello friends,


I’m out of ze office for the week of November 19. I will be returning Monday, November 26 to answer you messages.

I unable to take your calls (who calls me anymore?) or emails because I will be knee deep in administering medical support for sick kittens and cats and elbow deep in making some 50+ pies in order to raise money for the Pet Adoption and Lifecare Society (PALS) 
(https://www.adoptapet.com/pals),

Not at the same time.

Fun fact - On Thanksgiving, we will have a full moon, known as the Beaver Moon (aka the Frost Moon or Mourning Moon). To celebrate this celestial occasion, it’s time to unload baggage in your life and home to prep for the coming winter.

If you have a problem that requires the local team here to help you, email them. If you need to contact the person I report to, email my boss. 

Cheers my peers,
Maddie
Training and Talent Development


Friday, November 2, 2018

Mean Girls Week: Friday

A few coworkers decided to do a Mean Girls week from October 23-26 because we all loved the movie and I was down.

Welcome to Mean Girls Week. Here are the Rules:

  • Don’t wear a tank top two days in a row
  • You can only wear your hair in a ponytail once a week
  • On Wednesdays, we wear pink
  • You can only wear jeans or track pants on Friday
  • Be effortlessly plastic

You must take a photo of your outfit every day and share your thoughts.

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I got this shirt in 2011 on sale to wear while I was scooping poop as a throwaway shirt.

Somewhat lies.

More specifically, I got it for when I was working with kids who were volunteering for school credits or religious reasons, or those with various disabilities who were learning skills, or earning badges and even parolees doing community service. I thought maybe it would make me the “cool (cat) mom, not like those other moms.”

I’d be that chick who was with it. The totally relevant adult. People would want to talk to me and then donate to PALS, to foster and volunteer because we're totally hip.

And I'm in no way a fidgety-lame dictator trying to make community service and feline fecal flinging fun!

The t-shirt-plaid-skirt combo is very fetch and I think a respectable nod to the Plastics style and the characters like Janis – the anti-Plastic rule-breaker.

When I got this shirt I researched Superman so if someone needed it to start a conversation with me, I could reply – I worked with some autistic and really shy kids so having something to make connection less scary is always a plus so, I did some research.

Did you know - the “S” does not stand for “Super__” It’s the Kryptonian symbol for hope.

(Don’t @ me bro, comics evolve. As Damian sang: I am beautiful no matter what they say WORDS CANT BRING ME DOOOOOWWWN!!)

I always thought vanity didn’t fit Superman’s character, he didn’t name himself “Superman,” either. Kent picked a symbol of hope not vanity (and also looks sexy with his hair pushed back)

I wear this shirt when I’m working with last-chancers of human and animal kind as my uniform. Because…well, hope.

The word “hope” appears twice in the Mean Girls script:
  • Once when Ms. Norbury learned Cady is really good at math and says: “Cady, I hope you join Mathletes.”
  • The second time when the Burn Book is discovered and Principle Duvall says, “You better hope nobody else ever does see it.”

I hope you all join your own Mathletes even if it is social suicide. And I hope when venting or holding other peoples secrets, you find ways to counter with positive.

And this skirt is far too short per the dress code at my office and I don’t care.

Thursday, November 1, 2018

Mean Girls Week: Thursday

A few coworkers decided to do a Mean Girls week from October 23-26 because we all loved the movie and I was down.

Welcome to Mean Girls Week. Here are the Rules:

  • Don’t wear a tank top two days in a row
  • You can only wear your hair in a ponytail once a week
  • On Wednesdays, we wear pink
  • You can only wear jeans or track pants on Friday
  • Be effortlessly plastic

You must take a photo of your outfit every day and share your thoughts.

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I was so obsessed with Wednesday (like, why are you so OBSESSED with me?!) – I didn’t think of outfits for Thursday and Friday.

Mean Girls takes place in Evanston, Illinois and it looks like it's always warm and always happy. And it’s getting cold and dark here.

Did you know, while the girls refer to themselves as “The Plastics” they did not invent the name – Janis Ian (the anti-plastic) did. They took what was an insult from someone outside their clique and owned it. They made it their story so much it was in the Rules.

Yesterday, I got the quasi-confirmation that one of my foster-babies might have a fatal infection called Feline Infectious Peritonitis (FIP). She just isn't bouncing back right now. While her sudden symptoms might also be how she is gaining weight after being starved for all but a few weeks of her life, FIP couldn't be ruled out.

If it is FIP, there is nothing we can do – I just have to watch her and see if she crashes.

Since 2011, by choice, I have worked with last-chancers and those who were dying. I have fostered over 20 felines and I know exactly who I was when the 6 of them died. July 10, 2017 was the last time a baby died wrapped up in my arms. And I have fostered 7 more since then. I can't imagine a place I would rather want to be.

And I know people who do so much more than me with heroic efforts that render me speechless.

Sometimes people outside this world of rescue focus on the death. Death is not the worst thing that can happen - a life without love is.

You become the part of the story that you focus on. If you only focus on the worst parts, you become the worst parts. If you focus on the best parts, you become the best parts. To get to either, you have to accept both parts.

If this little kitten doesn’t make it, it will make her story sad and I will cry. But, that’s not her whole story and not the part I focus on. She is tiny and brave and sweet and has the squeakest meow and loves to be held...

The Plastics focused on the part of the story they wanted. Regina George literally takes the awful (mostly true) stuff people throw at her and owns it. There's a whole montage on it.

I am working from home today and this morning was totally easier to get together than Monday, even if I was working from home. I took the opportunity to hunt for non-black, winter-warm items and I made sure I added some pink accents for the Plastics.

This was a good reminder to me to focus on what I can do and own it.

I was also the fanciest cat-lady at the kitten vaccine bar!

Wednesday, October 31, 2018

Mean Girls Week: Wednesday

A few coworkers decided to do a Mean Girls week from October 23-26 because we all loved the movie and I was down.

Welcome to Mean Girls Week. Here are the Rules:

  • Don’t wear a tank top two days in a row
  • You can only wear your hair in a ponytail once a week
  • On Wednesdays, we wear pink
  • You can only wear jeans or track pants on Friday
  • Be effortlessly plastic

You must take a photo of your outfit every day and share your thoughts.
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I don’t like pink because it is the “girl” color and I feel it’s often a one-dimensional characterization of women because it’s soft and pretty and quiet. Blarg.  I have nothing that’s substantially pink in my wardrobe.Wearing pink is outside my comfort zone and I was dreading Wednesday.

According to the rules, you only need some pink - I said to myself, Maeve (which is apparently what I call myself now), I’m going ALL out. See, the Plastics’ pink-on-pink costuming started that trend in the 2000s that made it ok for you to wear a lot of one color - mainly, pink.

Before that, it was “too much.”

There are voices and pressures that can berate us for being "too much" or "not enough" and a high percentage of that pressure is based on looks. In my experience, dress codes and presentations are directed at how women should look so we can be taken seriously and be successful. So ingrained is this rhetoric that I don’t wear pink as secret rebellion.

My inner-critic told me I should wear a black blazer to mute this pinkness, this girlishness, this unapologetic bubblegum announcement that turns "woman" into "girl"…And I stopped myself.

How brutal is that? I would never tell someone to mute themselves. What if someone really, really liked pink...?

I remembered former coworkers who have neck tattoos and gauges that needed to be muted. Or a transgendered friend who struggled to fit norms in order to be seen – she has to hide who she is to be seen. If you are going to be taken seriously - you have to follow these rules..?

(sad face)

Their skills, kindness and talents are so much more than their aesthetic could ever be. Their expressions of themselves or their moods does not limit them, it limits others. So, I grabbed this glittery necklace over a black blazer. Cause #extra.

Honestly, the areas outside my comfort zone are such luxuries and I lost sight of that while having a mini-tantrum over wearing pink. There are people who might step out of their assigned zone and actually be really hurt.

No one would ever condemn me for wearing pink.

People showing up as they are – to work, to help, to connect – can be a struggle that is beyond my flippant disregard for pink and eye-rolling expression toward those who lecture me on how I need to manage my femininity. There are people whose “on Wednesdays we wear pink” takes an amount of courage I don’t think I have.

Here is what I do know.

There is no way we can innovate in a closed system. I reminded myself to seek out and support who people are. People with unique interests, expressions, perceived or actual disabilities, methods and perspectives open doors and concepts beyond my imagination. I don’t want accepted norms (even my own norms) to become a mental cage that holds me back from making connections.

On Wednesday, we wear pink.

And. I wore pink. (Thanks, Amazon Prime!)

Tuesday, October 30, 2018

Mean Girls Week: Tuesday

A few coworkers decided to do a Mean Girls week from October 23-26 because we all loved the movie and I was down.

Welcome to Mean Girls Week. Here are the Rules:

  • Don’t wear a tank top two days in a row
  • You can only wear your hair in a ponytail once a week
  • On Wednesdays, we wear pink
  • You can only wear jeans or track pants on Friday
  • Be effortlessly plastic

You must take a photo of your outfit every day and share your thoughts.

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I was up late Monday night at the vet, and with worry. As I was starting to sleep, and then at about 3am the kittens sat at the side of the bed and yowled at me until they got attention - and another can of cat food.

I was totally ready to grab jeans from the hamper and be like “oh, I forgot..?” I didn’t even want to shower….or be at work on time…or do this Mean Girls thing. Or leave my foster-babies.

But one of the rules is "Be Effortlessly Plastic."

Putting this look together took effort (because I hadn’t planned it, number one) and as our front desk maven, Kelsey, snapped this picture, a lot of people told me I looked nice and liked the color combination as if I planned it.

But mere hours before this, I was cuddling fragile kittens and wearing cat food and medications as much as I was delivering it. I was rummaging through the litter box for signs of butt-worms. I was worried my foster-kitten wasn’t gaining weight, that one was getting sicker, and tht maybe it wasn’t warm enough. And I forgot to put in my Chewy order so…

AHHHH! WHY AM I DOING THIS MEAN GIRL THING!? MY SHIRT IS WRINKLED!

But, I had to look effortless.

Today was a much needed reminder that when you do everything right, people will wonder if you did anything at all. Or that when your work is flawless, people only see the success and rarely see the work to get there or the billion other things going on around you.

I reminded myself to compliment people on their dirty, miserable, heartbreaking, grinding work that was needed rather than idolizing the success alone. There are no "three easy steps" of effortless success. Being effortless is f**king hard.

Almost as hard as an American figuring out how to get .20ml of amoxicillin based on a 50mg/ml script from a 30g/60ml bottle oral suspension powder…they use the metric system in Africa, though.

So, despite a rough weekend of helicoptering-fostering nurturing my foster kittens and offering support to my fellow rescuers dealing with far worse issues, at the time of this photo, I’m was pretty sure I could take over the world in the right pencil skirt.

I even took the time to straighten my hair – I just missed that huge part in the photo. So, work in progress….

Monday, October 29, 2018

Mean Girls Week: Monday

A few coworkers decided to do a Mean Girls week from October 23-26 because we all loved the movie and I was down.

Welcome to Mean Girls Week. Here are the Rules:
  • Don’t wear a tank top two days in a row
  • You can only wear your hair in a ponytail once a week
  • On Wednesdays, we wear pink
  • You can only wear jeans or track pants on Friday
  • Be effortlessly plastic

You must take a photo of your outfit every day and share your thoughts.

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I worked from home – normally I am in my PJs a little longer as I roll into the day but I got up to make sure I had time to dress the part and do my hair and makeup. I'm a Plastic this week!

Cold, Shiny, Hard, PLASTIC!

I was reminded of when I freelanced and at one point I was working like crazy and not showering and eating nothing but marshmallows with chopsticks as I slowly lost my grip on reality to the saccharine sounds of QVC in the background…

We talk about self-care as something that looks like massages and fitness and family. Today felt a little like a type of self-care that I might have been missing. In having to get dressed up on a day when I didn’t have to made me feel like I was doing it for me.

Like I did something unnecessary for myself that made me feel…nice.

The effort also changed a little of my “lazy” mindset and got me in a groove where I felt more like I could take on challenges with some sass and creativity.

Since it’s cold and my warm stuff is dark and “old lady” looking (black turtleneck and navy pants) I needed to find a way to pop it. And my choice was not by accident.

One of the bases of the costumes in Mean Girls was the mixture of retro styles such as preppy knitwear and patterns based roughly on styles throughout the 1940-1950 with tighter fits and midriff cuts that were modern in the 2000s. The concept of the Rules is based on a time when you did dress up to go to school – fetch retro.

My sweater and pants are modern-classic so I added teal. Teal was used a lot in the 1950 and into the 1960 as a color of trend. BOOM! 

Since I later had to rush a lethargic kitten to the vet – I was also the fanciest cat-lady in the waiting room…


Wednesday, October 10, 2018

Your Going To Be Ok Even There Are People Who Find More Delight In Mockey Then In Being Human

In the pursuit of creating a more compassionate world...

People often misuse "Their/There/They're" and "Your/You're" and "Than/Then" not because they are uneducated, unintelligent or somehow less-than you and deserving of mockery...

Everyone makes these mistakes because we are taught to speak before we are taught to write. Our brains tend to have more practice related sounds to words.

That is why when you hear the sentence:

"Yer (your) Gramps is drunk again!" 

and then

"Yer (you all) all goin' to git in trouble!" 

You understand what is being said even if, on paper, the words are incorrect.

So, let's all be a little nicer on the uptake and acknowledge we probably ALL have made the sound-to-word mistake and give our fellow humans the benefit of the doubt in order to understand the message before we launch into shaming.

End report.

Monday, October 8, 2018

October 2018 Out of Office (OOO)


I like to make feisty Out of Office (OOO) messages for my company people. I mean, who wants to read: "Hello, I am currently out of the office I will return on _____."


BORING.

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Hello,

Nope, I didn’t respond THAT fast. I’m out of office and this is my Ze Out Of Office Form (ZOOM) where assume to know what you are asking and provide answers.

When are you back?
Yes, I have foster kittens

No, uhh when-
Yes, you can donate to the Pet Adoption and Lifecare Society (PALS) (https://www.adoptapet.com/pals) to defer the cost of food and medical.

Where you see yourself in 5 years?
Listening would defiantly be one of my biggest weaknesses.

Anyhow, I will be answering you emails and Jabbers Wednesday, October 11, 2018.

Cheers my peers,
Maddie
Training and Talent Development

Wednesday, October 3, 2018

Mad Digest: Mark Rober's Beat Any Escape Room


BEAT ANY ESCAPE ROOM - 10 proven tricks and tips

I recently got a Roku (not to be confused with Róka, my comfort animal) so rabbit-holes of content consumption (not to be confused with TB) are emerging in my life.

I actually came across this YouTube gem and it reminded me of the way my industry throws people together and demands excellence. Project are their own Escape Rooms, right? 

So, how does a diverse (or friendly) group quickly come together, solve problems and find success? Or just hack one of dem ‘Scape Rooms?

Here is the content I reviewed:

BEAT ANY ESCAPE ROOM: 10 proven tricks and tips
By Mark Rober

Watch this quick 12min clip for full, glorious details on how you can beat any Escape Room (maybe) and you might be surprised how much these applies to what we do here.

Me Writing A Lot of Junk About A 12min YouTube You Could Just Watch
The host, Mark Rober, talks with Scott Nicholson who is a Professor of Game Design and Development at Wilfrid Laurier University in Brantford, Ontario about designing games that change the world. And also how to hack games.

And…be good at. Stuff.

Mark has implemented Scott’s guidance on how to break records when it comes to solving Escape Rooms.
Our focus here is actually making games to change the world. So a lot of the games we make here have some sort of learning outcome. Our goal is to help get people to learn stuff in a playful way - Scott Nicholson

Here are the 10 tips from the video about solving an Escape Room in record time:

Think simple
Remind yourself that the average person should be able to complete the room in one hour in a well-designed room.

Search 
The first thing you should do is search for clues and items – nothing else. Keep it simple; you shouldn’t have to disassemble a light fixture or spend too much time trying to make a random item into a clue if it doesn’t match the theme.

Organize your stuff
As you find clues and items, put all the things in one location (no one should hold on to something). Group similar items together. This will make it easier to tell what you are missing and a bigger picture should start to emerge. Once you have used an item, put it in a discard pile so no one is confused while working on different puzzles.

Focus on stops
Focus on what is stopping you from moving forward to prevent getting overwhelmed. Address what is stopping forward progress. This will also prevent you from getting side-tracked by red herrings (the bane of ALL gamers).

Team roles
Poor communication is the number one reason teams fail. In Mark’s case, having a "project manager" alleviated the issue of poor communication. The PM does NOT get involved in puzzles, s/he is the person who will cycle through incoming information from the search and call out, "Everyone, we are looking for four numbers for a four digit code!" and the group will then look for that or "Everyone, that poster looks funny, take a look at that."

Lock types
You should be familiar with the most common locks and their inputs such as, combo locks, dial locks and key locks. Know some rare locks like directional locks so you don’t get tripped up by the device itself.

Code types
Know basic codes and cyphers such as Morse code, pigpen cipher or Caesar cipher. Know what they look like and what their keys look like is more important than memorizing solutions. For example, long-short patterns are probably Morse code and a list of numbers from 1-26, probably align with letters in the alphabet (1=a, 2=b, etc.)

Witten clues
When you see text, look for punctuation or grammatical errors as these are often codes within text. Even how the words are typeset on a page can give you clues as to how it can be used. Never take a note at face value. It’s a code.

Look for patterns
In Escape Rooms (or general puzzle games), few things are random. Keep a look out for like items, like colors or groupings of different things. Our brains are wired to find patterns, so, let your brain look for repeating shapes, colors, symbol styles as well as numbers and words.

Your guide is your friend
At the end of the day, you are supposed to have fun, so, if you are super frustrated, just ask for help. It’s better to take a hint and feel the excitement of escaping than being stuck on a task and leaving frustrated.

My policy for the number of people in an Escape Room is the same as the number of people in a tent – no matter what the package says, you’ll have a better time at half capacity - Scott Nicholson
Bonus Round
My takeaways having survived our project workshop errrr...personal Escape Room.

Think simple
Remind yourself that the average person should be able to complete the training and learn the stuff in the allowed time. Keep design simple. You can jazz stuff up later.

Search
Spend time getting items first, aka research. Research should be published, accessible and reviewed. Don’t go digging deeply into wormholes and unsupported or outdated materials. Also, don’t make your learner have to search too hard to find key learning points or apply the points to their next actions after training.

Organize your stuff
Put all your data in one place where everyone on the team can see and access it. This will keep everyone on the same page and prevent overwork or re-work. No one should uniquely hold information or notes. 

A single depository of information will help everyone moving faster and allow them ask better questions (stand on shoulders of giants, people). Once a resource has been fully consumed, move it to an archive/backup folder. Keep only active and truly important resources in the open.

Focus on stops
Look at immediate roadblocks, not the final deadline. Work step-by-step, not “what about in 50 years when ____.” 

Ask: What are the inputs we need to get us to the next phrase and only search for those answers. If you know you will have roadblocks, work backwards not only to give yourself time but to find the inputs to remove it.

Team roles
Assigning project based roles (not so much job title roles) means skills can be used to their greatest potential. 

Have one person who is not doing active work keep visibility to all tasks and activities in order to best direct the team toward the bigger picture. This allows others to get safely buried in the details of each task because someone is watching their back and processing their findings to move everyone forward.

Lock types
From a project standpoint, if you can’t open a lock, let someone else try before you start over. We all perform differently under pressure and pressure removes brain-power. 

Build your own mental catalog of project locks - understanding common lock types means you can make educated guesses: a three-combo lock means you only need 2 inputs, you can guess the last one. Or you might be able to access non-liner problem solving to arrive at resolution: If 1-2-3 combo is the same as 2-3-1 combo, why get bogged down in details of processes that come to the same place? Unlock that sucka.

Code types
Don’t worry about planning and figuring out every aspect of every potential problem and every little detail in order to solve every human, technical, weather, ergonomic, spiritual and task-related issue that possibly could happen. 

You only need to recognize when stuff is getting cryptic and then pull out solutions. Having a general view of what common problems might happen is a better than spending early stages of a project learning how to hot wire a car just in case you lose your keys.

Written clue
If someone is emailing you every hour about progress on a smoothly running project, what does that really mean? If different published sources are saying different things – what does that mean? Often times, requests or stories have deeper clues under the request. 

Look for things out of the ordinary when processing resources, take some extra time to focus on the meaning-type-details so you can, as they say, be more agile.

Look for patterns
You can’t see all the patterns, no matter how hard you stare. Actively cycle people through problems to get new perspectives or to find better ways of explaining something. Everyone has a different design bias and rather than bleaching these out, they should be used wisely. 

If we all have these things, might as well put them to good use.

Your guide is your friend
Have check-ins not only to provide information but to get your bearing and to ask questions. Maybe it seems embarrassing to ask your stakeholder something “basic” but why spend days of frustration trying to figure something out when your stakeholder might be able to hand it over to you? 

Who are your magic-wand people – make them work for you.


Stay humble, stay woke - Maddie

Thursday, September 20, 2018

Fall Equinox

Hello friend,

I am currently unable to answer your email as I am on PTO doing important Equinox things like peeling apples and cleaning the graves as my grandmother taught me.

"Steveiemissymichaelerniesandymandy," she would yell, "Mandy, get out of the ditch and clean Pista's grave from all those leaves! And you remember, in this family we don't divorce our husbands we bury them!"

I don't know what killed Pista but he never made it out of the backyard.

If this is an emergency, you can hit up Joe or Topher. They are both snappy dressers with the brains to back it up.

If something is on fire, I suggest putting that fire out.

If you want to report my specific and measurable awesomeness, email my manager.

I'll be back on Tuesday.

Cheers my peers (and Mom),
Maddie

Wednesday, August 8, 2018

Copyright or Copywrong

Can you help me apply "©2018 Company, Inc." to all my content and slides and things?
I mean, I can. But, why?

Since the Copyright Act of 1976, all work is protected and the mark is no longer needed or required. It also bares no legal status.

It’s important to protect Company’s intellectual property! Without it, we are lost!
The Copyright Act of 1976 was designed to address intellectual property questions raised by new forms of communication that did not jive with the previous laws around content protection.

Since the passing of the Copyright Act of 1976 there is no reason to put a copyright on our materials because, at creation, it is granted full US protection.

Wait. What? We don’t need the ©?
Under section 102 of the Copyright Act of 1976, copyright protection automatically extends to

[any] original works of authorship fixed in any tangible medium of expression, now known or later developed, from which they can be perceived, reproduced, or otherwise communicated, either directly or with the aid of a machine or device.

The only limit of the Copyright Act of 1976 is around systems, processes and ideas. Copyright law protects the expression of facts and ideas, not the ideas and facts themselves. That’s patent level talk.

No, no. None of this makes sense and you’re not a lawyer. We need that copyright symbol and formal name of Company! Protection! This is how we have always done it!
Let’s review real fast: since the Copyright Act of 1976, all content created after 1978 (when the law went into effect), once viewable and consumable through any medium, is protected by US law from use (minus fair use). You can take legal action without any little knickknack symbol.

Since the Copyright Act of 1976, all work is protected. No razzle-dazzle needed.

Then why is it so important we put "© 2018 Company, Inc." on everything? 
Sometimes battles continue long after wars are over.

The confusion, I can only assume, stems from the last major law around US copyrighting. The Copyright Act of 1909 states only works that were original, published and had a copyright symbol were protected by federal law.

If this was not done, you had a narrow chance of protection at the state level, but, generally, no ability to claim someone had stolen your original work. Many people continue to abide by the 1909 law over the 1976 law for…I assume…cultural reasons or pagination reasons.

I might point out that we, as creators, already gave up the right to anything we create at Company through contract which negates any of this.

Wait, we are following an Act passed 117 years ago?
Yep.

Protection in the Copyright Act of 1909 was more about when a work becomes public domain and useable by the masses without payment or credit needed.

Back in the olde tyme days, we didn’t have as diverse mediums as we do now and in order to protect all creators, the Copyright Act of 1976 was passed to broaden the scope of federal statutory copyright protection.

That’s why if someone were to post a photo they took on the Internet, for example, you can’t just use it without payment or agreed on credit. I mean, you can, but, you can also run stop signs when no one is looking.

Since the Copyright Act of 1976, all work is protected.

Better safe than sorry. What if someone steals our work? We would need to take them to court and prove our rights with that mark that registers it as copyrighted!
It’s already prote-...ok ok…I see the rabbit hole we are going down.

Let’s assume someone stole your PowerPoint or an elearning and started using it and you got mad and wanted to legally pursue them for copyright infringement.

These materials, owned by Company, are not registered at the US Copyright Office. Because, well, one it’s protected by the Copyright Act of 1976…and…

We need to register!
So, the Copyright Act of 1976 still allows for registration of work through the US Copyright Office, which then has power to determine ownership and other stuff. To register, the Copyright Act of 1976 requires the work to be published for public sale and that published work has to be deposited within the US Copyright Office to accomplish registration.

According to section 411 of the Copyright Act of 1976, registration can be acquired by creator of the work in order to formally start infringement action against another. But, it’s not required.

Even IF registration is rejected or never acquired, infringement action can begin and continue - the court will just determine that the work is copyrightable first.

Again, since the Copyright Act of 1976, all work is protected.

Ok, ok, well. We still need to add "All Right Reserved." So everyone knows they have no rights to use the work.
"All Rights Reserve" is an old phrase that has no legal significance since Aug 2000.

Again, since the Copyright Act of 1976, all work is protected.

Fine. Well, for Company’s protection, we need to add "Proprietary and Confidential" because we can take THAT to court.
The "Proprietary and Confidential" statement has two parts divided by the word "and."

"Confidential" has no legal significance. You can’t say something is confidential and then go after someone who shares the work. My diary had "top secret" on it and I was unable to peruse legal actions against anyone who read it without authorization…I’m kidding, no one cared about my diary.

Confidential information is protected only through contracts and non-disclosures agreements because for anything to be legally binding all parties need to agree to the terms. Without a non-disclosure agreement (consent, if you will) the word "Confidential" is only an alert to the person who has access to the content that someone else deems it confidential.

"Proprietary" indicates the information is unique and original to the industry or entity. It would be a client list or the blueprints for a working time machine. It means that the content is unique and …uhh..yep. That’s all that word means. It’s not legal protection.

Again, since the Copyright Act of 1976, all work is protected.

Do I need to update my copyright every year?
…I was born in 1980, so…I never have…Ok, the battle rages on.

When you see multiply copyright dates on a work, it normally indicates that significant updates or corrections to the content has been made while still falling in the context of the original work. If I wrote a book in 1901 on each of the US Presidents, you might see a copyright update every four years because new content is being added after each election. But, I mean, by 1929 or 1957 it would be public domain anyway…soo…I mean…no

Again, since the Copyright Act of 1976, all work is protected.

Ok, so, no © is needed. Ok. I get it. We are totally protected.
Well, only in the United States.

Copyright is not subjected to international regulations so there is nothing that legally protects content from being used outside of the US regardless of any symbols of actions taken in this country.

Wednesday, June 27, 2018

Gorgeous

Stop calling me "gorgeous"

Because when you say "you're gorgeous," you mean you expect me to do whatever you want and I should happily exceed your expectations until you are done with me and allow me to disappear as silently as smoke into the night.

Because when you say "you're gorgeous," it means the choices I am excited about are shameful because my happiness is not as important as realizing being gorgeous means I owe something to the world around me that is driven by society, not my own mind or heart.

Because when you say "you're gorgeous," you think it means you are entitled to my undivided attention and body. You say it not as a compliment but as a claim on my person.

When I tell you "I know" or "I'm not interested," in a second, I will turn from "gorgeous" to a slut, a whore, a cocky bitch, bad decision maker and a cum dumpster. I will change from an angel to a woman fraught with drama and too into myself and too negative to be worthy of your attention or life - both which you view as you property to deal with and equal.

Because, when you said "you're gorgeous"...you thought that was just the fee for violating my boundaries and you want a refund when you don't get what you want.

Stop calling me "gorgeous."


Thursday, June 14, 2018

PICC-versary

June 14, 2007

I didn't want to be here. I didn't want to to be late because I might have a clot that could kill me. I didn't want to be this sick because I survived the two weeks of oral medication before the PICC install. I didn't want to know. I didn't want to live. I didn't want to be this.

I was in shock. The air around me was fragile as thin glass.

I knew how to act. I knew how to be. I knew how to mask this. I knew how to make this ok for everyone.

This was the last time my smile looked like that. The nerve damage from the claimed my face in such slight and profound ways...

It has been 11 years since this day which started a 5 year regiment of treatment that torn my guts, tricked my mind and damaged my heart.

I'm still trying to make this ok for others. I have the words to say "it was nothing" or "it's ok"

...but everything in my soul was torn from me - and that is not ok.

What I most hate is when people tell me I'm a fighter or warrior when I manage to tell them what happened to me. I hate it. I hate that in those words, people articulate or assume or communicate or think or feel - that me being alive was a proactive choice I made. There is no choice in sickness, there is no battle - as infection tore through my body, there was nothing I could do.

I hate that people use these words to throw responsibility back on the sick. That maybe if we just tried to not be sick a little harder, it would be better.

There is no control, there is no choice. Stop telling me I had a choice to live or die. To be healthy or sick. To be happy or sad.

I am alive and every time I feel happy to be alive, I remember that many others are not. I don't know why I am alive and they are not. I don't know what combination of things worked in my favor.

Today is my PICC-versary.

Monday, April 9, 2018

I Know, I Know...

I know, I haven't posted in a while.

I KNOW.

We'll get there, together. One day. Alone.

Thursday, February 22, 2018

This Rant I Had On Spiders

You know why I really hate it when adults smash spiders and kill snakes and freak out around lizards and frogs around children?

Because it teaches children that cute, fuzzy animals are worthwhile and when something is scaly or has more than four legs it is to be feared and when you fear something you should always kill it. Spiders bite you and they are ugly, we say. We don't rejoice at a friendly house-spider who catches other insects that can carry diseases.

We teach them that a daddy long legs in the garage should be met with screams and then immediate fatal action. I remember even having people tell me how fun it is to pull off each of its legs.

We don't teach them to respect bees and avoid them because we share the world with many different types of creatures and people - we show (and tell) children bees can sting and should be destroyed. We don't teach our children sometimes you get stung and it hurts but you won't die. We don't tell them that there are prescriptions of danger, truth and life outside their own world.

We don't teach children the number one sign of a healthy garden is a couple of snakes - we teach them to behead all snakes and fear them. All snakes! Because a couple are poisonous in the world. Which ones? Doesn't matter, all snakes need to die. We don't tell our children snakes like to avoid people and if you see one, it's best to leave it alone or walk away. We certainly don't teach them how to identify poisonous snakes - being armed with education is work, killing everything you fear is easy.

No wonder children run screaming from a bumblebee at a flower. No wonder they can't sleep with a fly at the window. No wonder, as adults, they run over turtles trying to cross the road with their cars.

Think about it. We teach children when something is different then the accepted fuzzy, pretty norm - you should destroy it.

We don't teach children that nature has a place for everything. Every animal, every human. We teach them only cute animals should be allowed to live and should be respected.

We teach them to fear things that are different. We don't take the opportunity to say, "Wow, you saw a lizard? Let's look up lizards and see what kind it was. I wonder if the lizard was scared of you!"

We don't say, "Wow, that spider sure is funny looking. I wonder why it has such long legs, don't you? Let's find out."

We don't say, "That bee did sting you. But, you'll be ok. I think that bee just got so scared when it saw you! Listen, when you see a lot of bees in a hole in the ground or in a hive, you stay away, that's the bee's home and you are big and scary. The bees think you are going to step on them or hurt their babies. Did you know they make honey, too?"

Kids who learn to face fear and uncertainly with education, to face things that are different with curiosity, and who learn they have a tremendous ability to hurt others - I can't say for sure, but, I think that those sound like some pretty awesome kids.

Then when someone comes into their world who is different - maybe it's not that hard for these kids to shrug and accept. And then they grow up. And then there might just be less hate and more understanding in the world. Maybe.

Being a parent is hard.

Look, kid, you don't have to fall in love with spiders, you just have to give them their space.

Tuesday, February 20, 2018

The Note I Wrote to My Team

Hello Links,

Yes, I wrote an oddly long email…what a fantastic treat! Yes, I do have news of which to share of a personal nature.

Spoiler alert: In January I left my husband, Bob, and we are divorcing. It’s super-not fun and I have been less of myself here at DaVita and I apologize.

Please continue on for humor, general thoughts, non-dirty details, learning points and an oddly optimistic finish if you have the care or time.

Per-Pro Overlap
In a lot of our development courses we talk about that overlap of personal and professional - and while I am open about a lot of things, I do my best to compartmentalize brutal things and keep them out of the work environment.

However, it’s not particularly fair to do this when these personal things clearly effect my professional life and people I actually care about and I don’t say anything.

So, it has been a long and complicated 2017 for my personal life.

A Note to This Team
So, first, I am sorry if I have been absent physically or mentally. Or if I seemed short or distant especially in these last few months. This split is why.

Or maybe someone made me use a ballpoint pen or, let’s be honest.

I will also probably be somewhat distracted until this situation is resolved – but I am doing my best, I promise you all, to get healthy and remain focused. If you could all be patient with me and give me the benefit of the doubt if I am “off.”

Feel free to call me out on it so I can also adjust.

A Note About Good People
If that bummed you out - here is what I do know.

There is still so much good in people and good in the world even if it requires being oddly vulnerable and challenging pain and silence with compassion and a voice.

The absolutely worst events of my situation came to a point in December. I felt underwater and like some desperate failure trying to hold it together because I didn’t know how to live with my own story. I finally admitted it to a collection of rather random acquaintances exactly what was going on. They all suddenly stepped up, to offer their own stories, to help me move, to make me laugh, and to offer reassurance and recommendations.

They continue to protect and follow-up with me to this day from across the country.

And this simple mark of being human blew me away.

People will restore your faith in humanity if you let them and can bring absolute light to total darkness.

Wrap It Up
So, my Links, this is the second worst thing in my life I have had to live through. I would be crazy to say it's not going to bleed into my professional life.

And I have a lot of good jokes about it from benign to super-dark. Like, so much material.

Please let me know what you need from me and know I will do the best I can.

Thursday, February 15, 2018

The Time I Wanted To Be A Portable Pyramid Head

I tend to record in my own little studio, but, in order to keep in me the office, work order this  Portable Microphone Studio Voice Booth Isolation Box which I immediately put to great use! 



The real lesson here is when you dream, dream big. Or you will have a very small sound booth.


Dream big, my friends. Always.

(Kudos to my special guest star - Pyramid Head. Love you, boo!)

Tuesday, February 6, 2018

List of People Who Died on my Birthday

Here are people who died on my birthday. Date withheld because ...really?


  • 651 Saint Aidan of Lindisfarne, Irish bishop and missionary
  • 1056 Theodora, Byzantine Empress (b. 981)
  • 1057 Leofric, count of Mercia/husband of Lady Godiva, dies
  • 1158 Sancho III, King of Castile, dies
  • 1218 Al-Malik ab-Adil/Saphadin/Saif al-Din), brother of Saladin, dies
  • 1234 Emperor Go-Horikawa of Japan (b. 1212)
  • 1372 Ralph Stafford, 1st Earl of Stafford, English soldier (b. 1301)
  • 1422 Henry V, King of England (1413-22)/France (1416-19), dies
  • 1590 Floris Thin, politician/land advocate of Utrecht, dies
  • 1604 Giovanale Ancina, composer, dies at 58
  • 1616 Gemignano Capilupi, composer, dies at 43
  • 1631 Nicolaus Erich, composer, dies at 43
  • 1638 John Ward, composer, dies at 67
  • 1645 Francesco Bracciolini, Italian poet (b. 1566)
  • 1654 Ole Worm, Danish physician (b. 1588)
  • 1667 Johann von Rist, German composer and poet known for his hymns, dies at 60
  • 1688 John Bunyan, preacher/novelist/author (Pilgrim's Progress), dies
  • 1730 Gottfried Finger, Czech composer (b. 1660?)
  • 1741 Johann Gottlieb Heineccius, German jurist (b. 1681)
  • 1772 William Borlase, English naturalist (b. 1695)
  • 1795 Francois-Andre Danican Philidor, composer, dies at 68
  • 1796 John McKinly, American physician and President of Delaware, dies at 75
  • 1799 Nicolas-Henri Jardin, French architect (b. 1720)
  • 1805 Joseph Marie Clement dall' Abaco, composer, dies at 95
  • 1814 Arthur Phillip, British admiral, first Governor of New South Wales (b. 1738)
  • 1832 Jean Nicolas Auguste Kreutzer, composer, dies at 53
  • 1862 George William Taylor, US Union brigadier general, dies in battle
  • 1862 Ignaz Assmayer, composer, dies at 72
  • 1864 Ferdinand Lassalle, French politician (ADA), dies at 39
  • 1867 [Pierre-]Charles Baudelaire, Fren poet (Journaux Intimes), dies at 46
  • 1869 Mary Ward, Irish scientist, first automobile accident victim (b. 1827)
  • 1873 Charles F Pahud de Montagnes, gov-gen (Dutch East Indies), dies at 70
  • 1875 Oskar Peschel, German geographer (Physicist Erdkunde), dies at 49
  • 1879 William Barber, 6th US chief engraver (1844-79), dies
  • 1888 Mary Ann Nichols, a 42-year-old prostitute, was found stabbed to death in London, 1st of at least five murders by Jack the Ripper
  • 1902 Mathilde Wesendonk, German author/poetess, dies at 73
  • 1910 Emils Darzins, composer, dies at 34
  • 1918 Joe English, Irish/Flemish signaler (WW I), dies at 36
  • 1920 Wilhelm Wundt, German physiologist/psychologist/philosopher, dies
  • 1931 Marcel Planiol, French private law scholar, dies
  • 1934 Johan H A Schaper, Dutch MP (SDAP), dies
  • 1935 Abraham Isaac Kook, rabbi/author (Hokhmat Ha-kodesh), dies
  • 1940 Johanna "Annie" Bakker, revue-artists/singer/actress, dies at 58
  • 1940 Georges Gauthier, French Canadian Roman Catholic archbishop of Montreal (b. 1871)
  • 1941 Marian Zwetajewa, writer, dies
  • 1941 Marina Tsvetaeva, Russian poet (b. 1892)
  • 1942 Von Bismarck, German major general, (Africa Corps), dies in battle
  • 1946 Paul August von Klenau, Danish opera composer/conductor, dies at 63
  • 1948 Andrei A Zjdanov, Rus politician (against kosmopolitism), dies at 52
  • 1948 Billy Laughlin, American actor (b. 1932)
  • 1949 Andre Debierne, French chemist/physicist (actinium), dies
  • 1949 Paul Hoffer, German composer, dies at 53
  • 1952 Henri Bourassa, French Canadian political leader (b. 1868)
  • 1959 Charles Delaney, dies at 67
  • 1963 Georges Braque, French cubist painter and sculptor (My bicycle) who helped develop Cubism with Pablo Picasso, dies at 81
  • 1964 Carole Coleman, singer (Make Mine Music), dies at 42
  • 1966 Kasimir Edschmid, [Karl E Schmidt], German writer, dies at 75
  • 1967 Ilja G Ehrenburg, Russian poet/writer (9th wave), dies at 76
  • 1967 Michael Fitzmaurice, dies of lymphoma at 59
  • 1968 Dennis O'Keefe, American actor (Suspicion), dies of lung cancer at 60
  • 1968 George P Gooch, English historian/House of Commons leader, dies
  • 1969 Ottmar Gerster, composer, dies at 72
  • 1969 Rock
  • 1973 John Ford, American director (Stagecoach, The Searchers), dies at 78
  • 1973 Raymond Keane, dies at 66
  • 1973 Stan Worthington, English cricket pace bowler (9 Tests 1930-36), dies
  • 1974 William Pershing Benedict, American pilot
  • 1974 Norman Kirk, New Zealand prime minister (b. 1923
  • 1975 Pierre Blaise, French actor (Lacombe Lucien), dies at 24
  • 1976 Kornelis H Miskotte, theologist (If the Gods Keep Silent), dies at 81
  • 1978 John Wrathall, President of Rhodesia (b. 1913)
  • 1979 E J "Tiger" Smith, England cricket wicket-keeper 1911-14), dies
  • 1979 Sally Rand, American burlesque dancer, vedette and actress known for her ostrich feather fan and balloon bubble dances, dies at 75
  • 1981 Joseph H Hirschhorn, US art collector/founder H Museum, dies at 82
  • 1981 Victor Trumper Jr, cricketer (7 games for NSW, 74 runs 12 wkts), dies
  • 1985 Frank Macfarlane Burnet, Australian biologist, Nobel laureate (b. 1899)
  • 1986 Henry Moore, English artist and sculptor (known for Three Piece Sculpture: Vertebrae), dies at 88
  • 1986 Urho K Kekkonen, premier/president of Finland, dies at 85
  • 1990 Johnny Lindsay, cricketer (South African wicket-keeper 1947), dies
  • 1990 Nat (Sweetwater) Clifton, NY Knick, dies at 65 of a heart attack
  • 1991 Leigh Watson, US aviation pioneer/air force general, dies at 93
  • 1991 Gerry Davis, British screenwriter (Dr Who), dies at 61
  • 1993 Gerben Wagenaar, Dutch resistance fighter (communist), dies at 80
  • 1994 Artur Balsam, Polish/US pianist, dies at 88
  • 1994 Barbara Hammer Avedon, scriptwriter, dies at 69
  • 1994 Norman "Doc" Jones, bassist, dies at 68
  • 1995 Beant Singh, PM of Punjab province of India, assassinated at 73
  • 1995 David Farrar, actor (Beat Girl, I Accuse, Watusi), dies at 87
  • 1995 David Richard Holloway, literary Editor, dies at 71
  • 1995 Hajime Miterai, industrialist, dies at 56
  • 1995 Horst Janssen, graphic Artist, dies at 65
  • 1995 John Erik Jonsson, businessman/Mayor of Dallas, dies at 93
  • 1996 David Scott, British priest, Chaplain to the Queen, dies at 72
  • 1996 Harald James Penrose, pilot, dies at 92
  • 1996 Milton "Tippy" Larkin, band leader, dies at 85
  • 1996 David Pollock, Viscount Hanworth, British barrister, dies at 80
  • 1997 Diana Spencer, Princess of Wales, dies in car crash in Paris at 36
  • 2000 Patricia Owens, Canadian actress (b. 1925)
  • 2002 Lionel Hampton, American vibraphone player (b. 1908)
  • 2002 George Porter, English chemist, Nobel laureate (b. 1920)
  • 2004 Carl Wayne, English singer (b. 1943)
  • 2005 Michael Sheard, British actor (b. 1940)
  • 2005 Joseph Rotblat, Polish-British physicist, recipient of the Nobel Peace Prize (b. 1908)
  • 2006 Tom Delaney, British racing driver (b. 1911)
  • 2006 Derrick Wayne Frazier, American convicted murderer (b. 1977)
  • 2006 Mohamed Abdelwahab, Egyptian footballer (b. 1983)
  • 2007 Gay Brewer, American golfer (b. 1932)
  • 2007 Karloff Lagarde, Mexican professional wrestler (b. 1928)
  • 2008 Jerry Reed, American country music singer and actor (b. 1937)
  • 2008 Ike Pappas, American news correspondent (b. 1933)
  • 2009 Eraño Manalo, Filipino religious figure (b. 1925)
  • 2010 Laurent Fignon, French cyclist (1983 & 1984 Tour de France), dies of cancer at 50
  • 2011 Wade Belak, Canadian ice hockey player (b. 1976)
  • 2011 Valery Rozhdestvensky, Soviet cosmonaut (Soyuz 23), dies at 72
  • 2013 David Frost, British broadcaster, dies from a heart attack at 74
  • 2014 Jimi Jamison, rocker (Survivor), dies of a heart attack at 63
  • 2015 Colin Hope, British Industrialist (Turner and Newall), dies at 83
  • 2016 Jacques Leduc, Belgian composer, dies at 84
  • 2017 Richard Anderson, natural causes, dies at 91

Thursday, February 1, 2018

When I Learned Dairy-Free Was A Legal Term

This is 100% why I can’t trust. . .


Oddly enough, I contacted the Everyday Essentials and didn't hear anything back. I’m not sure what their position is on lying but if I had to guess, I would say they are pro!

This is not the normal, "might contain trace amounts. . ." or "processed in a plant that also. . ." this is clearly stating it is dairy-free and clearly stating there is dairy in it.

I did a little research and found "dairy-free" is not a rational term but one build on legalities and statistics - as plainly explained here from the foodallergygourmet.com:

Non-dairy creamers, non-dairy ice cream and other so-called non-dairy products can contain dairy, and still legally be labeled “non-dairy.” According to the FDA’s regulations, only a product containing actual milk in specific forms can be labeled dairy. The FDA does not allow milk derivatives or milk by-products to be called dairy. So if a product has a milk derivative or byproduct, it can be called non-dairy. Lactose is a great example. Many of the so-called non-dairy products contain lactose, which is a derivative from milk.

Makes you wonder, doesn't it? You can read more about how the FDA defines terms you think you might know by checking out Code of Federal Regulations Title 21, Part 101: Food Labeling.

(d) When foods characterized on the label as “nondairy” contain a caseinate ingredient, the caseinate ingredient shall be followed by a parenthetical statement identifying its source. For example, if the manufacturer uses the term “nondairy” on a creamer that contains sodium caseinate, it shall include a parenthetical term such as “a milk derivative” after the listing of sodium caseinate in the ingredient list.
So, when I picked up this "Nondairy" creamer, I thought it had no dairy in it. I was wrong. It contained dairy but legally they could plaster DAIRY-FREE all over it and then on the back, in small print in parenthetical terms, list it had dairy in it.

While everything is surely legally based, not human based, I'd like to think that maybe this company is trying to market and warn at the same time - pointing out a sort of faulty logic that could affect thousands if not millions of people because what "dairy-free" means to me, someone who cannot consume dairy, means something different in the world of food production.

To me, this isn't simply about avoiding all foods or growing your own or becoming vegan or whatever the common response when any issue is found with a food or product (I think a lot involves panicky parents raising alarms because their sweet children are in danger). To me, it's about logic and clarity.

I want my backyard farmer to grow his crops and then grow his business into larger businesses - as has happened with most of these businesses - I just want to trust the use of simple terms is not double-speak. Don't protect yourself legally, protect yourself in a practical and straight-forward manner.

Maybe there is a bigger issue when it comes to casein and dairy and milk during production - how can this be solved so it's clearer? I know no one is going to do anything so I got to do something.

Seems to be, a really easy way, Everyday Essentials should remove "Dairy-free" from its product. It is legally dairy-free but sometimes you just have to do the right thing. It's the right thing to do for people like me who can't have dairy.

Lesson learned? Always read labels like someone is lying to you.

Tuesday, January 30, 2018

When I Started My Divorce

I am divorcing my husband. There you go. Now you know.

No, I don’t hate him. No, I don’t feel anything negative toward him. I’m not bitter or hateful. It has been a long, complicated year and I needed to make this decision.

While it sucks letting go of what you wish you could fix and what you thought you were going to build only to face the prospect of restarting all over again - I’m not unhappy with the decision to move on however painful that process is.

I am currently living with my parents while he and I sell the condo and get everything settled and done. My family has been marvelous and supportive in everything.

I do know one thing, the collection of friends and rather random acquaintances who were suddenly there during the absolutely worst part of this realization to listen to me, to offer their own stories, to make me laugh, and to offer reassurance and recommendations, unbeknownst to them, restored my faith in humanity and gave me a lot of hope that I think I lost.

I think it is so easy to harden the heart or be bitter when crappy stuff happens to you or turn away when crappy stuff happens to someone else. I can confirm, there is still so much good in people and good in the world.

I am doing ok. I would say a large part of where I am is… loneliness. If you have a second to send me a text now and again - maybe an article you read that’s cool, or a picture of something funny – that would be awesome. I’m an avid texter, if you didn’t know.

I’m sure I’ll be up for some companionship and drinks or coffee to break up the pin-point focus I’ve had to maintain soon enough. So, don't completely write me off as I go through what I got to go through.

So. That's... my report on this whatever day of 2018.

Thursday, January 25, 2018

This Random Conversation

This is an actual conversation I had with a person to prove how important my imput is:

Stacy: Hello
Maddie: Burger
Stacy: When you review for Tim make sure he has one activity per module
Maddie: Pipe cleaner
Stacy: I told him to in the email i sent
Maddie: Flea
Stacy: And if he didn't he needs to
Maddie: Butter
Stacy: Just sayin'
Maddie: Ostrich
Stacy: What does that even mean?
Maddie: Hopscotch

Tuesday, January 23, 2018

Nail Polish Picking Anxiety

If you didn’t know, mostly when you go to a nail salon to get your nails did, you first pick out the color polish you want. I think for a normal person – even a normal indecisive person – this is a pretty routine thing.

What happens with me?

I spend about 2 hours researching what color I want. I always have standbys like a classic red or soft pink. But I do spend a good amount of time before I go into the salon trying to decide what I want. 

And by "want" I mean. . .I look at this processes like every color is a dying person who needs a kidney and I have two and I am going to give one to one of them. This is not a nail polish selection, this is the GIFT OF LIFE.

The problem with my research is that once you get into the salon, you can never be sure they have that color. Maybe the carry the brand, but not that color. Maybe they carry that color but not in that brand. 

Also, who made up so many colors? We can’t, as humans, tell the difference between a lot of them. Then again, different companies have different formulas so you want to pick a brand that has good staying power.

But who cares! I walk up to the polish wall  - the rainbow of polishes arranged by brand and color – and…yep. Panic.

Sheer panic.

Every time.

All my prepwork means nothing. NOTHING. I can’t find anything.

Normally if I stand there too long someone comes over to try to help me. And by help, I mean move me along because this is a goddamn place of business, lady.

Thursday, January 18, 2018

This Sound I Once Heard

I college, during psychology class, one of the students was pulled from the class into the hall. We all knew why.

It was a small college. She was the best friend of a girl who had been involved in a car accident who was in a coma in the ICU for the past three or four days. The other people in the car had died the night of the crash and in succession, she was the last.

There was this odd silence as the professor just stopped her words. Not stopped talking, but like, the words seemed to mellow into silence over just stopping.

From the hall this sound erupted – the words were: "Oh my god. No."

I remember the sound that carried those words. Through the cement blocks and layers of paint, the carpets and ceiling, it would be cheap to say it was the sound of a heart breaking. I think I spent years of my life re-hearing that sound and not sure how to describe it. I had been in other situations where people had screamed and cried. It was never that sound.

What comes the closest to explaining it was that heart already had been broken. It was actual the sound hope makes when it dies. It was understood from the night of the accident, nothing would ever be the same, it was known this girl was pulled from the wreckage probably only held together with her skin. It was known the situation was grave. All of that is heartbreaking.

It’s heartbreaking when a beloved relative or parent dies. When illness or accident claims someone suddenly or quickly. Because hope generally surrenders quietly and slips from these rooms and hearts with a quiet dignity while the bodies and souls left behind work to cope.

Or the death or thing happens so fast there was never time to let hope in.

I can only describe the sound as the death of hope. Not the loss of hope. Not the inability to see hope. Not hope quietly leaving the room. It was the sound hope makes when it's killed. It's the rarest of sounds I have ever heard.

The professor said there was no point in trying to continue class, so we were dismissed. To give some perspective – on September 11 2001 – classes were held as normal and we were told not spend any class time discussing the "incident."

When leaving class, the halls of the building were empty except for this stain of sound that I think I could still find if I ever went back to campus.

Tuesday, January 16, 2018

Things Not Relevant To Me

According to FaceBook there are a lot of things I should be interested in and that I need to know about. This is based on my browsing history - including research I have done for things I don't like or care about - and probably everything else.

Items not relevant to me:
  • "Trendy" things
  • ___ for District Attorney
  •  “Funny” blogs
  • “Thon”
  • 21 questions
  • 30 day stuff
  • Adopt a Rainforest
  • Air conditioning
  • Alumni groups
  • Animal auctions
  • Animal blogs
  • Anime
  • Anime art
  • Answers™ About Me
  • Anti-aging junk
  • Any post by someone with only one name
  • Anything listed as “Amazing”
  • Apple sauce ads
  • Auctions
  • Backyard Monsters
  • Ballet gyms
  • Banks
  • Bark Box
  • Barre related…whatever
  • Beachbody
  • Beauty things
  • Bedding
  • Beer
  • Bingo Bash
  • Birthday Cards
  • Birthdays
  • Birthdays
  • BookTracker
  • Box services
  • BranchOut
  • Bruce
  • Bubble Safari
  • Bubble Safari Ocean
  • Bubble Witch Saga
  • Candy Crush Saga
  • Candy Crush Soda Saga
  • Car dealerships
  • Cartoons
  • Castle Age
  • CastleVille
  • Cat blogs
  • Cat foundations
  • Cat toys
  • Cat tribute pages
  • Celebrities open boxes in video clips
  • Chiropractic services
  • Christmas gifts
  • CityVille
  • Clothing
  • Clothing services
  • Colleges
  • Confidence
  • Cosplay
  • Crafty things
  • Credit cards
  • Credit Unions
  • Cute Baby Animals
  • Cycling 
  • Daily struggles
  • Democrat committee
  • Dental services
  • DJs
  • Doctors giving advice
  • Dog blogs
  • Dog walking services
  • Earthkeepers
  • Education repeater sites
  • Elementary schools
  • Empires & Allies
  • Escape rooms
  • Expeditions
  • Family Feud
  • Farm Town
  • FarmVille
  • FBCredits Rewards
  • Film companies
  • Fitness apps
  • Fitness groups
  • Fitness studios
  • Flixster
  • Food delivery services
  • Foundations to help people
  • FrontierVille
  • Furniture
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  • High schools
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  • Home suggestions
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  • In vitro fertilization 
  • Jaw dropping sites
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  • Rebecca (f**k you Rebecca, get out of my feed).
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  • Zoo World
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Tuesday, January 9, 2018

Lucky the Rescue Cat

My cat, Lucky the Cat, has a Twitter account – you can follow him at @LuckytheRescue.

He mostly sleeps and makes snarky feline commentary on being weird as sh**

Today he is getting blood work at the vet.

Monday, January 8, 2018

Fostering Check List

Did you make some type of resolution to foster cats or kittens? You should have. 

If you are thinking about fostering kittens or cats, here is a practical list of things you will need! It might seem like a lot, but, it’s really not.

  • Blankets: Something soft and easy to wash that you don’t mind poop and vomit on.
  • Cat sitter: If you have to go away for a night or a few days, know you have someone who can watch the animals.
  • Food bowls: One per animal, even if they all eat from the same dish. You don’t really even need to buy a bunch, use a small salad or appetizer plate. Small kittens will have better access to the food and won’t tip the plate as easily. Also, some cats don’t like whiskers touching the sides of bowls, so, get something with a lot profile or use a small salad or appetizer plate.
  • Heating pad: Very young kittens need to be kept warm. They would normally be snuggling together and with their mom for warmth. Use a water bottle rapped in towels or any number of kitten-approved warmers (like Snuggle Safe). Also, make sure the area you are keeping your fosters in is nice and warm.
  • Journal: You will need to record any mediation or behavior information for medical records or to track any possible problems.
  • Litter box: Should be one per two cats or kittens. Remember, small kittens might need a lower-profile box to get into.
  • Litter: Use dust-free and kitten approve if you have kittens.
  • Lot of food: Dry food and stinky wet food. Cats and kittens live by smell, so, make sure you have stinky food to encourage eating. Kittens get their nutrition from wet food and bulk from dry food. Check with the vet or rescue about what they recommend.
  • Pee cleaner: Accidents happen so you should have good cleaners that eliminate the urine smell so kittens won’t want to pee in the same space again.
  • Pet Carrier: You will have to transport your animals. Sometimes a rescue will lend you a carrier, which you need to return. If not, you do need a good carrier that is the appropriate size and lined with blankets. This carrier will protect the animals in the event of a car accident and also provide a safe, controllable space.
  • Space: Cats and kittens should have their own space they can hide in to feel safe and alone. It should be removed from people and understood that when the animals are there, they should be left alone.
  • Toys!: Sure, they will play with whatever, but, have some toys for them to rip up and chase around.
  • Water bowl: Cleaned daily, easy to access and not so deep that a kitten can get stuck in it. Though, they will, at some point, splash into it.


Additional no-charge items:
  • LOVE: Endless, unconditional love even when they are being demons. A lot of these animals had a rough start and rough life – they need nothing but love.
  • Time. A lot of fostering is just being there and letting the animal come to you. Read a book in the same room or spend time playing with the cat or kitten. Part of fostering is showing the animal that people are actually pretty cool.
That’s it! With these things, you’ll be ready to invite some kittens or cats into your home and help them on their way to a happy and forever home!