Thursday, February 22, 2018

This Rant I Had On Spiders

You know why I really hate it when adults smash spiders and kill snakes and freak out around lizards and frogs around children?

Because it teaches children that cute, fuzzy animals are worthwhile and when something is scaly or has more than four legs it is to be feared and when you fear something you should always kill it. Spiders bite you and they are ugly, we say. We don't rejoice at a friendly house-spider who catches other insects that can carry diseases.

We teach them that a daddy long legs in the garage should be met with screams and then immediate fatal action. I remember even having people tell me how fun it is to pull off each of its legs.

We don't teach them to respect bees and avoid them because we share the world with many different types of creatures and people - we show (and tell) children bees can sting and should be destroyed. We don't teach our children sometimes you get stung and it hurts but you won't die. We don't tell them that there are prescriptions of danger, truth and life outside their own world.

We don't teach children the number one sign of a healthy garden is a couple of snakes - we teach them to behead all snakes and fear them. All snakes! Because a couple are poisonous in the world. Which ones? Doesn't matter, all snakes need to die. We don't tell our children snakes like to avoid people and if you see one, it's best to leave it alone or walk away. We certainly don't teach them how to identify poisonous snakes - being armed with education is work, killing everything you fear is easy.

No wonder children run screaming from a bumblebee at a flower. No wonder they can't sleep with a fly at the window. No wonder, as adults, they run over turtles trying to cross the road with their cars.

Think about it. We teach children when something is different then the accepted fuzzy, pretty norm - you should destroy it.

We don't teach children that nature has a place for everything. Every animal, every human. We teach them only cute animals should be allowed to live and should be respected.

We teach them to fear things that are different. We don't take the opportunity to say, "Wow, you saw a lizard? Let's look up lizards and see what kind it was. I wonder if the lizard was scared of you!"

We don't say, "Wow, that spider sure is funny looking. I wonder why it has such long legs, don't you? Let's find out."

We don't say, "That bee did sting you. But, you'll be ok. I think that bee just got so scared when it saw you! Listen, when you see a lot of bees in a hole in the ground or in a hive, you stay away, that's the bee's home and you are big and scary. The bees think you are going to step on them or hurt their babies. Did you know they make honey, too?"

Kids who learn to face fear and uncertainly with education, to face things that are different with curiosity, and who learn they have a tremendous ability to hurt others - I can't say for sure, but, I think that those sound like some pretty awesome kids.

Then when someone comes into their world who is different - maybe it's not that hard for these kids to shrug and accept. And then they grow up. And then there might just be less hate and more understanding in the world. Maybe.

Being a parent is hard.

Look, kid, you don't have to fall in love with spiders, you just have to give them their space.

Tuesday, February 20, 2018

The Note I Wrote to My Team

Hello Links,

Yes, I wrote an oddly long email…what a fantastic treat! Yes, I do have news of which to share of a personal nature.

Spoiler alert: In January I left my husband, Bob, and we are divorcing. It’s super-not fun and I have been less of myself here at DaVita and I apologize.

Please continue on for humor, general thoughts, non-dirty details, learning points and an oddly optimistic finish if you have the care or time.

Per-Pro Overlap
In a lot of our development courses we talk about that overlap of personal and professional - and while I am open about a lot of things, I do my best to compartmentalize brutal things and keep them out of the work environment.

However, it’s not particularly fair to do this when these personal things clearly effect my professional life and people I actually care about and I don’t say anything.

So, it has been a long and complicated 2017 for my personal life.

A Note to This Team
So, first, I am sorry if I have been absent physically or mentally. Or if I seemed short or distant especially in these last few months. This split is why.

Or maybe someone made me use a ballpoint pen or, let’s be honest.

I will also probably be somewhat distracted until this situation is resolved – but I am doing my best, I promise you all, to get healthy and remain focused. If you could all be patient with me and give me the benefit of the doubt if I am “off.”

Feel free to call me out on it so I can also adjust.

A Note About Good People
If that bummed you out - here is what I do know.

There is still so much good in people and good in the world even if it requires being oddly vulnerable and challenging pain and silence with compassion and a voice.

The absolutely worst events of my situation came to a point in December. I felt underwater and like some desperate failure trying to hold it together because I didn’t know how to live with my own story. I finally admitted it to a collection of rather random acquaintances exactly what was going on. They all suddenly stepped up, to offer their own stories, to help me move, to make me laugh, and to offer reassurance and recommendations.

They continue to protect and follow-up with me to this day from across the country.

And this simple mark of being human blew me away.

People will restore your faith in humanity if you let them and can bring absolute light to total darkness.

Wrap It Up
So, my Links, this is the second worst thing in my life I have had to live through. I would be crazy to say it's not going to bleed into my professional life.

And I have a lot of good jokes about it from benign to super-dark. Like, so much material.

Please let me know what you need from me and know I will do the best I can.

Thursday, February 15, 2018

The Time I Wanted To Be A Portable Pyramid Head

I tend to record in my own little studio, but, in order to keep in me the office, work order this  Portable Microphone Studio Voice Booth Isolation Box which I immediately put to great use! 



The real lesson here is when you dream, dream big. Or you will have a very small sound booth.


Dream big, my friends. Always.

(Kudos to my special guest star - Pyramid Head. Love you, boo!)

Tuesday, February 6, 2018

List of People Who Died on my Birthday

Here are people who died on my birthday. Date withheld because ...really?


  • 651 Saint Aidan of Lindisfarne, Irish bishop and missionary
  • 1056 Theodora, Byzantine Empress (b. 981)
  • 1057 Leofric, count of Mercia/husband of Lady Godiva, dies
  • 1158 Sancho III, King of Castile, dies
  • 1218 Al-Malik ab-Adil/Saphadin/Saif al-Din), brother of Saladin, dies
  • 1234 Emperor Go-Horikawa of Japan (b. 1212)
  • 1372 Ralph Stafford, 1st Earl of Stafford, English soldier (b. 1301)
  • 1422 Henry V, King of England (1413-22)/France (1416-19), dies
  • 1590 Floris Thin, politician/land advocate of Utrecht, dies
  • 1604 Giovanale Ancina, composer, dies at 58
  • 1616 Gemignano Capilupi, composer, dies at 43
  • 1631 Nicolaus Erich, composer, dies at 43
  • 1638 John Ward, composer, dies at 67
  • 1645 Francesco Bracciolini, Italian poet (b. 1566)
  • 1654 Ole Worm, Danish physician (b. 1588)
  • 1667 Johann von Rist, German composer and poet known for his hymns, dies at 60
  • 1688 John Bunyan, preacher/novelist/author (Pilgrim's Progress), dies
  • 1730 Gottfried Finger, Czech composer (b. 1660?)
  • 1741 Johann Gottlieb Heineccius, German jurist (b. 1681)
  • 1772 William Borlase, English naturalist (b. 1695)
  • 1795 Francois-Andre Danican Philidor, composer, dies at 68
  • 1796 John McKinly, American physician and President of Delaware, dies at 75
  • 1799 Nicolas-Henri Jardin, French architect (b. 1720)
  • 1805 Joseph Marie Clement dall' Abaco, composer, dies at 95
  • 1814 Arthur Phillip, British admiral, first Governor of New South Wales (b. 1738)
  • 1832 Jean Nicolas Auguste Kreutzer, composer, dies at 53
  • 1862 George William Taylor, US Union brigadier general, dies in battle
  • 1862 Ignaz Assmayer, composer, dies at 72
  • 1864 Ferdinand Lassalle, French politician (ADA), dies at 39
  • 1867 [Pierre-]Charles Baudelaire, Fren poet (Journaux Intimes), dies at 46
  • 1869 Mary Ward, Irish scientist, first automobile accident victim (b. 1827)
  • 1873 Charles F Pahud de Montagnes, gov-gen (Dutch East Indies), dies at 70
  • 1875 Oskar Peschel, German geographer (Physicist Erdkunde), dies at 49
  • 1879 William Barber, 6th US chief engraver (1844-79), dies
  • 1888 Mary Ann Nichols, a 42-year-old prostitute, was found stabbed to death in London, 1st of at least five murders by Jack the Ripper
  • 1902 Mathilde Wesendonk, German author/poetess, dies at 73
  • 1910 Emils Darzins, composer, dies at 34
  • 1918 Joe English, Irish/Flemish signaler (WW I), dies at 36
  • 1920 Wilhelm Wundt, German physiologist/psychologist/philosopher, dies
  • 1931 Marcel Planiol, French private law scholar, dies
  • 1934 Johan H A Schaper, Dutch MP (SDAP), dies
  • 1935 Abraham Isaac Kook, rabbi/author (Hokhmat Ha-kodesh), dies
  • 1940 Johanna "Annie" Bakker, revue-artists/singer/actress, dies at 58
  • 1940 Georges Gauthier, French Canadian Roman Catholic archbishop of Montreal (b. 1871)
  • 1941 Marian Zwetajewa, writer, dies
  • 1941 Marina Tsvetaeva, Russian poet (b. 1892)
  • 1942 Von Bismarck, German major general, (Africa Corps), dies in battle
  • 1946 Paul August von Klenau, Danish opera composer/conductor, dies at 63
  • 1948 Andrei A Zjdanov, Rus politician (against kosmopolitism), dies at 52
  • 1948 Billy Laughlin, American actor (b. 1932)
  • 1949 Andre Debierne, French chemist/physicist (actinium), dies
  • 1949 Paul Hoffer, German composer, dies at 53
  • 1952 Henri Bourassa, French Canadian political leader (b. 1868)
  • 1959 Charles Delaney, dies at 67
  • 1963 Georges Braque, French cubist painter and sculptor (My bicycle) who helped develop Cubism with Pablo Picasso, dies at 81
  • 1964 Carole Coleman, singer (Make Mine Music), dies at 42
  • 1966 Kasimir Edschmid, [Karl E Schmidt], German writer, dies at 75
  • 1967 Ilja G Ehrenburg, Russian poet/writer (9th wave), dies at 76
  • 1967 Michael Fitzmaurice, dies of lymphoma at 59
  • 1968 Dennis O'Keefe, American actor (Suspicion), dies of lung cancer at 60
  • 1968 George P Gooch, English historian/House of Commons leader, dies
  • 1969 Ottmar Gerster, composer, dies at 72
  • 1969 Rock
  • 1973 John Ford, American director (Stagecoach, The Searchers), dies at 78
  • 1973 Raymond Keane, dies at 66
  • 1973 Stan Worthington, English cricket pace bowler (9 Tests 1930-36), dies
  • 1974 William Pershing Benedict, American pilot
  • 1974 Norman Kirk, New Zealand prime minister (b. 1923
  • 1975 Pierre Blaise, French actor (Lacombe Lucien), dies at 24
  • 1976 Kornelis H Miskotte, theologist (If the Gods Keep Silent), dies at 81
  • 1978 John Wrathall, President of Rhodesia (b. 1913)
  • 1979 E J "Tiger" Smith, England cricket wicket-keeper 1911-14), dies
  • 1979 Sally Rand, American burlesque dancer, vedette and actress known for her ostrich feather fan and balloon bubble dances, dies at 75
  • 1981 Joseph H Hirschhorn, US art collector/founder H Museum, dies at 82
  • 1981 Victor Trumper Jr, cricketer (7 games for NSW, 74 runs 12 wkts), dies
  • 1985 Frank Macfarlane Burnet, Australian biologist, Nobel laureate (b. 1899)
  • 1986 Henry Moore, English artist and sculptor (known for Three Piece Sculpture: Vertebrae), dies at 88
  • 1986 Urho K Kekkonen, premier/president of Finland, dies at 85
  • 1990 Johnny Lindsay, cricketer (South African wicket-keeper 1947), dies
  • 1990 Nat (Sweetwater) Clifton, NY Knick, dies at 65 of a heart attack
  • 1991 Leigh Watson, US aviation pioneer/air force general, dies at 93
  • 1991 Gerry Davis, British screenwriter (Dr Who), dies at 61
  • 1993 Gerben Wagenaar, Dutch resistance fighter (communist), dies at 80
  • 1994 Artur Balsam, Polish/US pianist, dies at 88
  • 1994 Barbara Hammer Avedon, scriptwriter, dies at 69
  • 1994 Norman "Doc" Jones, bassist, dies at 68
  • 1995 Beant Singh, PM of Punjab province of India, assassinated at 73
  • 1995 David Farrar, actor (Beat Girl, I Accuse, Watusi), dies at 87
  • 1995 David Richard Holloway, literary Editor, dies at 71
  • 1995 Hajime Miterai, industrialist, dies at 56
  • 1995 Horst Janssen, graphic Artist, dies at 65
  • 1995 John Erik Jonsson, businessman/Mayor of Dallas, dies at 93
  • 1996 David Scott, British priest, Chaplain to the Queen, dies at 72
  • 1996 Harald James Penrose, pilot, dies at 92
  • 1996 Milton "Tippy" Larkin, band leader, dies at 85
  • 1996 David Pollock, Viscount Hanworth, British barrister, dies at 80
  • 1997 Diana Spencer, Princess of Wales, dies in car crash in Paris at 36
  • 2000 Patricia Owens, Canadian actress (b. 1925)
  • 2002 Lionel Hampton, American vibraphone player (b. 1908)
  • 2002 George Porter, English chemist, Nobel laureate (b. 1920)
  • 2004 Carl Wayne, English singer (b. 1943)
  • 2005 Michael Sheard, British actor (b. 1940)
  • 2005 Joseph Rotblat, Polish-British physicist, recipient of the Nobel Peace Prize (b. 1908)
  • 2006 Tom Delaney, British racing driver (b. 1911)
  • 2006 Derrick Wayne Frazier, American convicted murderer (b. 1977)
  • 2006 Mohamed Abdelwahab, Egyptian footballer (b. 1983)
  • 2007 Gay Brewer, American golfer (b. 1932)
  • 2007 Karloff Lagarde, Mexican professional wrestler (b. 1928)
  • 2008 Jerry Reed, American country music singer and actor (b. 1937)
  • 2008 Ike Pappas, American news correspondent (b. 1933)
  • 2009 EraƱo Manalo, Filipino religious figure (b. 1925)
  • 2010 Laurent Fignon, French cyclist (1983 & 1984 Tour de France), dies of cancer at 50
  • 2011 Wade Belak, Canadian ice hockey player (b. 1976)
  • 2011 Valery Rozhdestvensky, Soviet cosmonaut (Soyuz 23), dies at 72
  • 2013 David Frost, British broadcaster, dies from a heart attack at 74
  • 2014 Jimi Jamison, rocker (Survivor), dies of a heart attack at 63
  • 2015 Colin Hope, British Industrialist (Turner and Newall), dies at 83
  • 2016 Jacques Leduc, Belgian composer, dies at 84
  • 2017 Richard Anderson, natural causes, dies at 91

Thursday, February 1, 2018

When I Learned Dairy-Free Was A Legal Term

This is 100% why I can’t trust. . .


Oddly enough, I contacted the Everyday Essentials and didn't hear anything back. I’m not sure what their position is on lying but if I had to guess, I would say they are pro!

This is not the normal, "might contain trace amounts. . ." or "processed in a plant that also. . ." this is clearly stating it is dairy-free and clearly stating there is dairy in it.

I did a little research and found "dairy-free" is not a rational term but one build on legalities and statistics - as plainly explained here from the foodallergygourmet.com:

Non-dairy creamers, non-dairy ice cream and other so-called non-dairy products can contain dairy, and still legally be labeled “non-dairy.” According to the FDA’s regulations, only a product containing actual milk in specific forms can be labeled dairy. The FDA does not allow milk derivatives or milk by-products to be called dairy. So if a product has a milk derivative or byproduct, it can be called non-dairy. Lactose is a great example. Many of the so-called non-dairy products contain lactose, which is a derivative from milk.

Makes you wonder, doesn't it? You can read more about how the FDA defines terms you think you might know by checking out Code of Federal Regulations Title 21, Part 101: Food Labeling.

(d) When foods characterized on the label as “nondairy” contain a caseinate ingredient, the caseinate ingredient shall be followed by a parenthetical statement identifying its source. For example, if the manufacturer uses the term “nondairy” on a creamer that contains sodium caseinate, it shall include a parenthetical term such as “a milk derivative” after the listing of sodium caseinate in the ingredient list.
So, when I picked up this "Nondairy" creamer, I thought it had no dairy in it. I was wrong. It contained dairy but legally they could plaster DAIRY-FREE all over it and then on the back, in small print in parenthetical terms, list it had dairy in it.

While everything is surely legally based, not human based, I'd like to think that maybe this company is trying to market and warn at the same time - pointing out a sort of faulty logic that could affect thousands if not millions of people because what "dairy-free" means to me, someone who cannot consume dairy, means something different in the world of food production.

To me, this isn't simply about avoiding all foods or growing your own or becoming vegan or whatever the common response when any issue is found with a food or product (I think a lot involves panicky parents raising alarms because their sweet children are in danger). To me, it's about logic and clarity.

I want my backyard farmer to grow his crops and then grow his business into larger businesses - as has happened with most of these businesses - I just want to trust the use of simple terms is not double-speak. Don't protect yourself legally, protect yourself in a practical and straight-forward manner.

Maybe there is a bigger issue when it comes to casein and dairy and milk during production - how can this be solved so it's clearer? I know no one is going to do anything so I got to do something.

Seems to be, a really easy way, Everyday Essentials should remove "Dairy-free" from its product. It is legally dairy-free but sometimes you just have to do the right thing. It's the right thing to do for people like me who can't have dairy.

Lesson learned? Always read labels like someone is lying to you.